For Unto Us a Child Is Born
After centuries of evolution and convolution, Christmas -- in name and in concept -- has become an all-encompassing cultural touchstone with elements of spiritualism, secularism, myth, legend, history, and pop culture. For many, it would not be Christmas without the following characters and personalities. Ever wonder what kind of manga they would be reading (assuming they were the type to do so) during the holiday break?
1. Santa Claus Okay, Santa is a ruddy stalker and pedophile. He's obsessed with children, he offers them "gifts" in order to make them behave a certain way, and one night a year he breaks into all their houses with complete parental complicity. I'm sure he likes to curl up and sharpen his tools with a copy of Strawberry Marshmallow after a night's hard work.
2. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer More than any other, Rudolph is perhaps the quintessential symbol of overcoming the odds and using one's physical traits to his advantage. And who better exemplifies that in manga than the exploits of football underdog (and hero) Eyeshield 21.
3. The Grinch You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch! Fixated on ruining the lives of others by taking away any joy or pleasure in their lives, this asshat is completely in tune with depression, despair, and sheer misanthropy. Naturally, he's a lock for Abandon the Old in Tokyo and the other joyless works of Yoshihiro Tatsumi.
4. Baby Jesus Well, it's HIS fault for starting this whole thing. He may yet be too little to read, but as the Son of God, he'd expect no less than the God of Manga, so hook him up with a copy of Ode to Kirihito and let him storm the Temple thirty years later with that in his hands.
5. George Bailey The hero whose "wonderful life" singlehandedly added "everyman" to the dictionary. As someone who's had direct contact with angels and learned the value of life, he can surely identify with the metaphysical mishaps and sweet discoveries of Pita-Ten.
6. Ebenezer Scrooge Yet another famous Christmas figure who connects with spirits, except that instead of complete selflessness, he's completely selfish. To truly understand the issues of class struggle and the widening economic gap, this guy needs a copy of Ouran High School Host Club.
7. Herr Drosselmeyer Besides being the creepy mastermind in Princess Tutu, could the mysterious toymaker of The Nutcracker have also been the original hardcore otaku? I mean, he's this eccentric, older single male who spends all his time making toys -- sorry, figures -- like a working anthropomorphic nutcracker, then gifts them to little Clara because she's the only young girl he's allowed to get close to. With his fixation on blurring the line between human and machine, Chobits would be his cup of tea.
8. Frosty the Snowman That must be one hell of a magic hat to transmute a simple snowman into a sentient elemental being. But if there's one series that's all about the questions of creating life from the inanimate, it's got to be Fullmetal Alchemist. Clap and slap!
9. Charlie Brown Our poor, put-upon Everyman Jr. who learns to take pleasure in the little things of such a mundane life. As an introspective, sometimes recalcitrant figure, Charlie's got all the makings of a future hikikomori, so Welcome to the NHK! would be a good way to get him started.
10. Kevin McAllister The most recent of Christmas icons, but undoubtedly a memorable one thanks to constant re-screenings of Home Alone on TV. This blond-haired brat overcomes goofy villains to prove his own wit and self-worth -- just like another hero of the tween set, the equally ubiqitous Naruto.
Or, y'know, they could just get stuck with "practical" gifts like socks and underwear. And to all a goodnight.
1. Santa Claus Okay, Santa is a ruddy stalker and pedophile. He's obsessed with children, he offers them "gifts" in order to make them behave a certain way, and one night a year he breaks into all their houses with complete parental complicity. I'm sure he likes to curl up and sharpen his tools with a copy of Strawberry Marshmallow after a night's hard work.
2. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer More than any other, Rudolph is perhaps the quintessential symbol of overcoming the odds and using one's physical traits to his advantage. And who better exemplifies that in manga than the exploits of football underdog (and hero) Eyeshield 21.
3. The Grinch You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch! Fixated on ruining the lives of others by taking away any joy or pleasure in their lives, this asshat is completely in tune with depression, despair, and sheer misanthropy. Naturally, he's a lock for Abandon the Old in Tokyo and the other joyless works of Yoshihiro Tatsumi.
4. Baby Jesus Well, it's HIS fault for starting this whole thing. He may yet be too little to read, but as the Son of God, he'd expect no less than the God of Manga, so hook him up with a copy of Ode to Kirihito and let him storm the Temple thirty years later with that in his hands.
5. George Bailey The hero whose "wonderful life" singlehandedly added "everyman" to the dictionary. As someone who's had direct contact with angels and learned the value of life, he can surely identify with the metaphysical mishaps and sweet discoveries of Pita-Ten.
6. Ebenezer Scrooge Yet another famous Christmas figure who connects with spirits, except that instead of complete selflessness, he's completely selfish. To truly understand the issues of class struggle and the widening economic gap, this guy needs a copy of Ouran High School Host Club.
7. Herr Drosselmeyer Besides being the creepy mastermind in Princess Tutu, could the mysterious toymaker of The Nutcracker have also been the original hardcore otaku? I mean, he's this eccentric, older single male who spends all his time making toys -- sorry, figures -- like a working anthropomorphic nutcracker, then gifts them to little Clara because she's the only young girl he's allowed to get close to. With his fixation on blurring the line between human and machine, Chobits would be his cup of tea.
8. Frosty the Snowman That must be one hell of a magic hat to transmute a simple snowman into a sentient elemental being. But if there's one series that's all about the questions of creating life from the inanimate, it's got to be Fullmetal Alchemist. Clap and slap!
9. Charlie Brown Our poor, put-upon Everyman Jr. who learns to take pleasure in the little things of such a mundane life. As an introspective, sometimes recalcitrant figure, Charlie's got all the makings of a future hikikomori, so Welcome to the NHK! would be a good way to get him started.
10. Kevin McAllister The most recent of Christmas icons, but undoubtedly a memorable one thanks to constant re-screenings of Home Alone on TV. This blond-haired brat overcomes goofy villains to prove his own wit and self-worth -- just like another hero of the tween set, the equally ubiqitous Naruto.
Or, y'know, they could just get stuck with "practical" gifts like socks and underwear. And to all a goodnight.
1 Comments:
Reminds me of Tokyo Akazukin.
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