Expo Expo

With less than a week to go, fans across America -- and the rest of the world -- are readying their bodies, minds and wallets for the four-day bedlam known as Anime Expo. The plethora of events guarantees that, if you're bored, you're just not trying hard enough. The programming schedule is brimming with things to do, and here are just a few that may be of interest...

SATURDAY, JULY 1

1:00-2:00 pm CLAMP Panel Seating. Yes, the pre-event seating counts as something major, because I would like to see this just for the catfighting that will inevitably ensue. A cosplay Kamui will battle a cosplay Fuuma for front row, several Chis will go flying, and I hope that anyone dressed as Sakura has a sturdy staff, because it might come in handy.

2:00-5:00 pm CLAMP Focus Panel The only focus panel to be held in the Main Events ballroom (~4500 seats) because it will attract THAT many people. I feel sorry for anyone else hosting a panel against this time: J-rocker Mana, Broccoli Intl., Bang Zoom, the Robotech people ... well, I'm sure that they'll get their fair share of congoers who feel that battling for CLAMP isn't worth it.

6:30-7:30 pm How to Learn by "Moe" What the hell is this? Anyone? I mean, I know what moe is, but I'm not sure if they mean to teach the principles of moe, or to use moe as a teaching aid, or WHAT.

SUNDAY, JULY 2

10:00-11:00 am Mick Takeuchi Focus Panel You'll have to get up bright and early (relatively speaking) to catch the artist of Her Majesty's Dog.

1:00-2:00 pm Dark Horse Manga Find out the latest zombie samurai assassin title to come out of the House of Horn, or possibly how many other ways they plan to milk Koike/Kojima and Oh My Goddess.

2:00-3:00 pm VIZ Media Shojo Beat Listen to the fangirls bleat about how Godchild got taken out, and find out if new titles are being added to the SB line. (crosses fingers for Honey and Clover, but isn't holding breath)

4:00-5:00 pm Koge-Donbo Focus Panel Learn the secrets of Japan's reigning master (er, mistress) of cute, the creator of Di Gi Charat and Pita-Ten and the occasional Harry Potter fanart.

6:30-8:00 pm How to Draw Manga - eigoMANGA Knowing eigoMANGA's reputation around, uh, some parts, I wonder who's really going to go to this?

8:00-9:00 pm Anime News Network Crap, I have to go to this one, don't I?

MONDAY, JULY 3

11:00 am-12:00 pm Tokyopop Industry Panel; Del Rey Manga NO. YOU CAN'T DO THIS. Of course they had to schedule two major manga publishers against each other! To be honest though, I have found Del Rey's panels in the past to be more entertaining and lead to more varied discussion, while TP's panels consist of plodding through the new licenses/releases list and cheerleading for each other.

12:00-1:00 pm ADV Industry Panel Think we can ask what the hell is up with their manga line?

12:00-2:00 pm Fullmetal Alchemist the Movie premiere Do you love Fullmetal Alchemist? Do you love the dubbed version? Then make sure not to miss Funimation's premiere of the movie, which has, like, Hitler in it! And a giant snake ... which may or may not have been on a plane, I can't remember! Seriously! I'm not kidding about the Hitler part!

1:00-2:00 pm Tokyopop Creators Panel Here's the one for the original artists ... and I remember the one last year being quite well-attended (if mostly by 16-year-old girls), so it's not like EVERYONE out there is a hater.

2:00-3:00 pm VIZ Media Manga Panel And once we're done hearing about their 50 new licenses or so, I'm going to go outside, collapse, and curse the manga industry for stealing my lunchtime away from me.

4:00-5:00 pm Digital Manga Publishing See if they plan to release more goodies from Japan's "edgy" manga creators, which may or may not mean more 14-year-old girls wearing nothing but a pair of gloves. Robot, I'm looking at you.

8:30-9:30 pm Juné/Yaoi hosted by DMP You know why they're hosting it late at night? You know why admission is only allowed to attendees aged 16+? Because it's about guys ... who like other guys.

9:30-11:00 pm The Art of Glowsticking I wasn't aware that there was an art to glowsticking. I think this one contends with "How to Learn by Moe" for #1 WTF panel of the con ...

TUESDAY, JULY 4

9:00-10:30 am Guest of Honor Free For All Autograph Session Wherein all the guests gather in one area and sign stuff for you (except for CLAMP, obviously, who will be getting special treatment in a lucky-draw autograph session). I'm thinking maybe my Tiny Snow Fairy Sugar boxset for Koge-Donbo, and a couple of Rahxephon DVDs for Yutaka Izubuchi and Tomoki Kyoda.

After which I prowl the dealer room for one last shot at a bargain (Ichigo Mashimaro trading figures! they shall be mine!!), and then go home and die.